Can I Tell You A Secret??? Friday, Apr 10 2009

I am a little nervous for Thursday. Well, not just a little and I don’t know if nervous is the right word. I am just really not looking forward to it!! I dread it really!  I am just trying to be open and honest.

There is so much devistation around here right now.  There is so much illness and death surrounding us.  No, not like in our immediate family, but just everywhere.  I know that this is life, but come on!! 

We were talking in the car tonight with Chandler.  Sometimes he just blows me away.  We have had a rough day with all 3 kids (and myself) and it was so nice to be able to have a conversation that was about something other than cleaning your room (and how you made the mess, not Mom and Dad!!!).  He was telling us that he prays all the time that Jesus would come back while he is still alive.  That blew me away!  I guess that I grew up thinking that God was this horrible mean God that would come and take his bride away in the middle of the night and the kids would be left home alone.  Yes, while it may not be exactly what I was taught, it was what I believed was said.  I even would ask questions and would be told to not dwell on it, that God would take care of it.

So tonight, when Chandler said that, I could feel myself breathing differently.  I mean, my goodness!  Why would he want to see kids left without parents (yes, I am still dealing with a lot of different things and this is one of them)?  But, I listened to him and he ministered to me.  He said that he wanted to be able to see Jesus and not be dead yet.  He said that he wanted to witness Jesus coming back.  At his age, I knew almost nothing about Jesus, let alone about Him coming back.  Lord, I want to be a child again.  I want to have that same desire and not be scared.  Someday….

I have just been having one of those weeks.  Have you been there?  Chandler turned 9 on Tuesday, which was a great day, but Wednesday night (while dealing with a husband that was throwing up), it dawned on me what the date was.  The 8th.  And then my mind just went crazy.  You see, Allie’s heart condition was diagnosed on the 9th.  And I got mad at myself for not realizing that the anniversary was coming up.  How could I forget something like that?  Something that changed our lives forever, and I forgot???  I have just beat myself up so much this week about it.

I have been writing on Allie’s blog about the days that she was diagnosed and our stay at Vandy.  I have been reliving all of the hell that our family went through during that time.  Then, it makes me think of the people that won’t say hi to me Wal-Mart, yet they were so important to us during that time.  If my daughter was so important to you then, why isn’t she still important to you?  I just have had a bad week.

Yes, I am so thankful that Allie is as healthy as she is.  Our bad times are long behind us, but they seem to be coming to me more and more lately.  I am just nervous.  Is that okay?  Does that make me less of a Christian because I am nervous?  Can you say that you trust God and be nervous at the same time?  Am I normal?  Is it okay that I just want to sit down and cry sometimes?

I know that this is a season, and I am thankful that I know that.  I have been in the state of mind before where I didn’t know if I would ever get out of it.  But, tomorrow is a new day and I am going to stand on that.

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Plans Are Always Changing Thursday, Apr 9 2009

Ugh.  That is all I can say.  Life here has been a little hectic.  We are preparing for Allison’s angioplasty next Thursday – a week from today.  We have all been sick and I am trying my best to keep her as well as possible.  Chandler has had strep.  I have bronchitis.  And Allie and Val (Matthew) have had the stomach flu.  I am just done.  Do you ever get that way?

We have finished the 13 week Financial Peace University program, in fact, we have been out for almost 2 weeks.  It was a long process, but I am so thankful that we did this together, as a team.  We are so on board with becoming debt free.  During those 13 weeks we saved $1000 in our emergency fund (and even opened a savings account!!) and paid off $3400 worth of debt (that includes the principle of our house and car payment).  We paid off 1 credit card and 1/2 of the second.  I can’t believe it!  Yes, we still have things to work on, but we are getting there.

I have always heard the phrase “such a time as this”.  When we signed up for Financial Peace, it was September.  I was anxious to get started.  I wanted it to start then!  However, God knew better.  There is a reason that it didn’t start in September.  We needed it to start in January.  God knew what our financial state would be and He knew exactly when we would need a kick in the butt!

I went and worked at Woodall last week in the Book Fair and my longing to go back to school started back up.  Last Tuesday there was such a desire there for me to start again.  Enough so that I came home and probably drove Val crazy!  I am in a waiting game right now though.  There is no way that I will incure debt to go to school.  However, I don’t feel like it is worth it to pay less towards our debt snowball in order to go to school.  So, we are working (HARD) on our debt snowball and then I will go to school when we are done.

And on the baby front – we are done.  I can’t believe that I am actually saying it, but I am done.  And I am happy with that decision.

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Encores and More North! Tuesday, Feb 10 2009

If you know anything about me, you must know that I like a great bargain. Like Vicki said at FPU the other night, I almost get a high off of it. Yesterday at Publix, I wanted to dance at my $.05 cake mix. Hi! My name is Elizabeth and I am a save-a-holic!

I ALWAYS do consignment sales. I have done 2 in the past, each spring and fall, since my kids have been born. I hit up Grace’s Closet and The Lion and The Lamb sale. They both are a few days long and have not overlapped each other. I get my clothes ready and hit both sales, making at least $150 at each sale.

Last year, while taking our favorite route to Outback, I came across Encores and More North consignment sale. I didn’t have a chance to go in, but the name stayed with me. We did hit the EaM sale in Brentwood though, but it was really picked over by the time we got there. So last month, after getting my email from Grace’s Closet, I searched for EaMN in Rivergate and came across Brea’s site.

I immediately signed up to sell and sent her an email about working. If you work 3 5-hour shifts and the manditory sort, you get a $50 gift certificate and you get to shop at the workers shop!  Plus, since Allie goes to Mommy’s Day Out (or I guess, Parent’s Day out for all of you politically correct folks out there), I thought, YAY, I won’t even have to leave Allison with Val!   I get to drop her off and head to their great location – the old Goody’s store in Rivergate!

So, check out the Encores and More North site here to get as excited about it as I am.  Only 2 1/2 weeks to get myself into gear!!

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Another New Thing That I Am Doing Tuesday, Jan 27 2009

Crystal at Biblical Womanhood is starting a new challenge and I am all for it!  10-12 weeks to a new home.  I am totally there!  You can read more about it HERE.  While I might not post pictures right away, my hope is that in 10-12 weeks, you can drop in on me without calling first.

The first week’s assignment is already up and I plan on getting some of it done today.

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This Week’s Menu! Monday, Jan 26 2009

I know that I said that I was going to do this starting at the first of the year, but I haven’t.  So shoot me!  What is a better time to start than today, right?!

Monday

Shake and Bake Chicken Tenders, Scalloped Potatoes, and Vegies

Tuesday

Pancakes, Sausage Links, and Eggs

Wednesday

Cheeseburger Pizza (I got this from some website.  I thought it was Money Saving Mom, but didn’t find it on the quick search that I did) and cut up fresh vegies

Thursday

Crockpot Rotisserie Chicken, Noodles, Vegies

Friday

Cheapstake Stew (yummy!), and Biscuits

Saturday

Lime Chicken Tacos, Refried Beans, Tortilla Chips

Sunday

Crockpot Taco Soup, Cornbread

 

Notice that there aren’t any meals out for dinner (or lunch for that matter) this week.  Our envelope is empty.  We are eating at home!  I am just thrilled that we have gone from an enormous amount of money eating out (large enough that Val would kill me if I put it on here) to $100 a month and we are surviving (I mean, I am surviving).  I forgot how good homecooked meals taste and how much more money it puts into your savings.  We are still on baby step 1 for now and hope to be moving forward to baby step 2 by the end of next month!  Enough rambling….

We have a variety of things for breakfast this week, but I am sure that my kiddos will eat the Toaster Strudels that I scored for $.25 a box today.  I bought 7 boxes hoping that I don’t run out soon.  We will also do our normal cereal or oatmeal.

Lunches are a little harder.  The boys are officially tired of PB & J for school.  Chandler is cool now with turkey sandwiches and Val loves soup, so it will be more of that.  Val and I are eating leftovers for lunches this week.  We usually eat out for lunch, but now that we are doing Financial Peace, I am not willing to spend that kind of money anymore – even if it means eating at home.

I am off to Kroger.  I still can’t get over my 66% savings at Publix this morning!  I have never been a fan of store hoping, but with Publix’s great deals this week, I couldn’t pass it up!

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I Know That I Said That I Was Done…. Thursday, Jan 22 2009

But I want another one.  Baby, that is.  Just don’t tell Val – he will freak!

See, before we had kids, we both said that we wanted 4.  We both grew up in a family of 3 and both agreed that we wanted an even amount – if we went for 3, then it would be 4.  And, we both wanted to be done by the time that I turned 30. 

I was 20 when I had Chandler and 22 when I had Val.  I found out that I was pregnant when Val was 8 months old, but that pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage.  We had not planned on getting pregnant that quickly, but as “they” say, things happen.  Just as I was getting excited about the pregnancy, I had my miscarriage.  I went through a crazy amount of feelings after that and we didn’t start trying again the month before Val was 2.  I got pregnant when Val was 4 1/2.  Yep 2 1/2 years.  Never thought that it would take that long.  Looking back now though, I know that it was the best.  We were dealing with the fire stuff, living with my family, and trying to buy a house.  I am sure that stress had a little to do with why I wasn’t getting pregnant.

In March of 2006 I was working at Progress In Motion and a girl that I was working with found out that she might not ever be able to have more kids.  She had one little girl, but was faced with not being able to have more.  I felt then that I was being so selfish by wanting more when I had 2 healthy kids at home.  I kept praying for God to either allow me to get pregnant or that He would remove the desire from my heart for more kids.  I can remember the morning that I woke up and was finally content.  I loved my family.  I was fine with being a baseball mom and having a family of 4.  I had absolutely NO desire for more kids.  It was incredible.

I found out that I was pregnant in June.  I was shocked.  It was a Monday.  I took both of the boys to baseball camp at White House High School and was talking to some girlfriends.  It dawned on me then that maybe there was a possibility.  I went directly to Dollar General, bought a test, and took it.  I was shocked.  See, this is the thing.  Val had quit his job.  This was Monday, Val’s last day was Friday, and we were leaving Friday afternoon for Gatlinburg for Emily’s wedding.  When I told Val, shocked wasn’t even a word that I could use to describe his emotions.

Allison has been a complete blessing in our family.   Even though I was fine with my boys, I am glad that we got a little girl.  Throughout all of her medical problems, I would never one time not want her here.  She is a part of us – messy hair and all.

But I want another one.  I didn’t for a long time.  Really, I didn’t.  I wasn’t lying when I said that I was done.  I was.  Until now.  I have such a desire for another baby.  I am not ready to be done with this stage.  I can’t even believe that I am willing to admit it.  I look at Allie and think about how she would be such a good big sister.  Doesn’t that sound weird??  She has such a gentle spirit.

Yes, I know that I am crazy and I know that Val would NEVER go for it (he tells me constantly), but the desire is there.  So, someone needs to get pregnant so that my desire goes away!  Remind me of all of the yucky all-day sickness, and the expensive maternity clothes – because I would totally have to have all new maternity clothes.  All of mine were from a different time in my life and I never wore the cute stuff – so they would all have to be new.  Please remind me of the sleepless nights.  And all of the poopy diapers.  Just don’t remind me of the smell of a newborn.  And the first smile and the first eye contact – cause then I would really be hooked.

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Dave Ramsey Rocks! Monday, Jan 5 2009

We went to our first Financial Peace University class last night at Brad and Vickie Dorr’s house!  I am so pumped about the fact that we WILL be debt free.  What freedom will that be – to owe nobody!  While I won’t spread out our income and debt information, I am looking for trackers to put on my blog for weight loss and debt tracking to put on here.  Once I find them, then I can be accountable to more than just myself.

I know that this is the way that God intends for us to be.  We are to owe no man anything and I want to be able to be at the point in our walk with Him that if someone needs something, then we are able to do it.  I have always heard Dave Ramsey say the quote, “You will have to live like no one else so that you can live like no one else”.  I had even talked to Carrie about it at the women’s retreat.  I want to live like no one else!  However, last night, during the first video, Dave said it differently.  He did the normal line, but then he said, “You have to live like no one else, so that you can give like no one else!”  I want that for us.  I want to be able to give.

So, while this might be a long journey, I am willing to walk.  Doesn’t matter how long it takes.  All that matters is that Val and I are in total agreement in this and are both willing to work our butts off!

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Can You Believe That I Am Willing To Admit This??? Saturday, Jan 3 2009

Okay, so last night was the 4th night (in a row) that we did not eat out. See, let me tell you a little bit about me. I love to cook, but I just don’t do it. I am one to plan ellaborate menus, grocery shop, and then not cook. It is horrible of me, I know. It is what helped us through my depression, but it is time for a change. I am so tired of spending $35 every time we go out to eat for food that is crappy. Do I even care to admit how many times we have eaten at Las Maracas?? Nope.

So, we hit night number 4 last night. Yes, Cil cooked for Cassie’s party, but if she hadn’t, I had already planned on cooking.

Things we have had this week – WW BBQ Pork Sandwiches and Sweet Potatoes; Spagetti and Vegies – not a family favorite, but I had to go grocery shopping that night and we were NOT eating out; and Breakfast for Dinner – one of our favorite meals.

I don’t honestly know what we will do tonight for dinner. I have a meal here planned, but Val has worked so much this week that we might just head out of the house for a few hours and will pick something up while we are out. Tomorrow is my big day though. We ALWAYS eat out 2 meals on Sundays – one after church and then we usually go to Sky Mesa for dinner. However, we are having homemade pizzas for lunch after church and I have something else planned (that I can’t remember right now) for dinner before Finanacial Peace University.

While I am sure that there are a lot that will cringe when reading this post, there are some that will say that they have been in my shoes. To keep me accountable (with myself only), I am going to start Menu Plans Mondays. I look forward to fixing new things and using my kitchen how it was meant to be used.

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Happy New Year!! Saturday, Jan 3 2009

I am so excited with the prospects of this year that I can’t hardly stand it.  I always sit down and make my new years resolution list and by the end of January, I have blown every one of them.  You know, the normal – I am going to lose weight, I am going to read my bible more, I am going to….  You could add almost anything here and I am sure that it has been on my list.  This year, my list is somewhat different.  What will make it different is that I am actually going to accomplish at least one thing on my list.  Plus, if I have 365 days to diet, why should I start today??? 

So, this year, these are the things that I am going to accomplish:

• I will lose weight – be it 10 pounds or 30, I will lose weight.
• I will become a better steward of God’s money.  I mean, really, how many pairs of shoes does He really need?
• We (the Courtneys) are going to be debt-free.  Yes, by the end of the year.  I don’t care what I have to sell on ebay to get it done, it will happen.
• I will read my bible more than I do now.
• I will be a better mom to my kids.  I will not yell (as much).
• I will be a better wife to my husband.  I will not yell (j/k we don’t yell - anymore! Praise God!).
• I will be a better friend to my friends. 
• I will keep my house better organized (and clean).
• I will get onto a schedule during the week.
• I will walk on the treadmill that we bought and have used once.
• I will run in a marathon by year’s end.
• I will not ask about a vacation until we are debt free.
• I will turn 30 – like I have a choice in that??!!

I am sure that I can/will add more to that list.  I just want to focus on my day to day things and not think of waiting until the end of the year to work on this stuff.  We start Financial Peace at church on Sunday and I am so excited about it.  We sat down and realized that we could have started 2009 off with absolutely no debt, but chose to do other things.  That stops now.  I just don’t see how we can truly work for the Lord with debt in our pockets.  Just my own opinion – not anything that I think towards others.  I am tired of Val having to work his butt off so we can continue to go down the same road that we have always gone down.

So, as for me and my house, we are choosing to live like no one else, so that we can live like no one else!  I will keep you updated on how I am doing on each of these goals.

However, I have one heck of a cruise planned for 2010!  I can’t wait.  How wonderful that cruise will be knowing that we are debt free!   What a party we will throw!

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Something To Really Think About Wednesday, Dec 24 2008

Priscilla emailed me something today that has just really touched my heart.  During the craziness of the season, I will be the first to say that I have lost sight of the real meaning of Christmas.  This brought me back into reality.

Grace In a Manger (by Shannon from Rocks in my Dryer blog)

Christmas is happy, Easter is hard.

At least, that’s how I thought about it when I was younger.

Christmas, I thought, was the cheery holiday that evoked images of a sweet baby Jesus, a manger full of fresh-smelling hay, joyful shepherds, a glorious star and a partridge in a pear tree.

The real theological meat was diced at Easter, I believed.  Easter was about blood, death, and victory won only through the harshest pain.  Easter was about sanctification and propitiation and all those other “-ation” words that my pastor is supposed to explain to me.

And so, in my simple little head, Christmas was happy, Easter was hard.  At Christmas, we could just sit back and not think too hard, sip our egg nog, and gaze at our happy little nativity scene in which Mary looks all clean and regal, not like a scared young teenager who just went through labor next to a cow.

That was then.  I’ve been around the block a few times now.  I don’t see Christmas in quite the same way.

I look around and see homeless people and sick children and crooked politicians and hungry nations and angry young people and bitter old people…and I wonder why on earth Someone would leave Perfection for such a dirty old planet as this?

I know we needed a Savior, and desperately, but to choose to come?  To enter humanity at its dirtiest–poor parents in a barn, of all places–to endure the hardest parts of being human with only the promise of the pain of ultimate sacrifice?

Maybe Christmas isn’t easy after all.  Maybe it’s as gritty and earthy as the darkest moment on the cross. 

But OH, is it ever beautiful.  It’s as beautiful as any Easter sunrise, as victorious as a heavy stone pushed away from a tomb.

In one glorious, cosmic, explosive moment, the God of our Universe leapt into our messed-up world.  Victory wrapped in swaddling clothes. 

Hope nursing at His mother’s breast. 

Grace in a manger.

You know, I have always talked to my kids about the birth of Jesus and how we are to celebrate His birth because without it, we would have no hope.  But, I don’t think that it has really set in for me.  Cil (I hope you don’t kill me) added her thoughts to this and I thought they were perfect.

I have been so impressed with reality this year.  Reality of truly being a virgin mother.  A single mom of sixteen going through labor without her mom.  Bringing a baby into the world when you weren’t married and were facing such scorn because of it.  And, it was all because of our God that wanted to offer us a Saviour.  Can you imagine seeing and living in the most beautiful place ever and then being sent here?  To a world filled with suffering, violence, greed?  I am just absolutely taken back by what the real sacrifices were.  A life was sacrificed, but that isn’t all.  Within the birth of our Lord is so many sacrifices.  The pride of a virgin mother.  Can you imagine the embarassment of having to go to your parents and say, “Mom, Dad, I know you aren’t going to believe me, but I am pregnant by no man’s baby?”  Can you imagine the humiliation of Joseph having to register his very pregnant fiance and explain that the baby wasn’t his?  What about the shame of being rejected at every hotel in Bethlehem?  And then being offered to sleep in the stable with the animals?  Can you imagine how sad Mary felt that night when she was praying?  Don’t you think she might have said, “Please, God, don’t let me give birth to this little King here in this nasty barn?”  Can you imagine the disappointment of having no place to lay your precious new baby down to sleep, so you used a trough that animals eat from?  Let me tell you, reality is important to me this year. Reality.  The first Christmas wasn’t in some regal place.  It was in the lowest of places.  The Greatest became the worst.  For me and for you.  Can you imagine?

I can’t imagine being Mary.  The scarlet letter that she must have worn.  The friends that she must have lost.  The shame that came to her family, because you know, nobody believed Mary and Joseph.  I have always said that I wanted to be able to see Mary, once I got to heaven.  I wanted to ask her what it was like raising the Son of God.  I want to know what His temperment was.  If He acted any differently than the “normal” kids.  But you know, while I want to ask those questions, I want to thank her.  Not only for being a woman that God entrusted with His son, but for making the sacrifices that she made for me. 

Thanks, Cil, for sending this to me.

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